Category Archives: Inspiration

In the Midst of the Noise

Untitled design (12)

In the midst of the noise I hear the words I used to hear. There’s an obvious blockage to the gate I see here. A proverbial lock with a pad and a key. A special code is needed, and it’s hidden from me.

The people behind it all tremble with fear, at the thought that the chosen one might be near. That she might penetrate this invisible wall. That she might finally answer her God-given call.

A push and a pull is all it would take, I could wade in this water or empty this lake. Puddles full of pity, much more than should be. I could drown myself and that without mistake.

How is she wet and yet still she’s on fire? How do I manage to be empty and full of desire? It’s simply because I hold back from within…because I see the future but refuse to begin.

In the midst of the noise

 

In the midst of the noise I am screaming aloud. I’m oblivious to chaos; becoming one with the crowd. Don’t ask me to keep my calm or remain sane. I’m already an expert at all things mundane.

I never take chances. I throw my hand in the game. The risk-less card player with nothing to gain.

Every fantasy, every dream, every idea written on paper and nothing to show for it 7 years later. You could say I’m ambition without all the vigor. Dreams don’t come true all on their own, I figure.

Till inspiration strikes me as lightning on a pole, till I’m sick of re-living the days of old. Till I, at last, come to realize that the chosen one, she’s standing right here. Proud, amazing and successful…in the midst of the noise.

 

 

Liebster Lovin’

Up until a few days ago I hadn’t even known the Liebster award existed! I did a little research on it (little being the operative word) and found out that most people have a love hate relationship with this award for various reasons. Here’s my take on it: Its an AWARD! I don’t even care how it came to be, it’s awesome to be recognized. Any blogger knows, no matter how many people you have following your blog, you are still a small fish in a big pond.

I will allow my small beginning to be just that and say a huge thank you to Victoria from I am Unbothered for nominating me. I’m considering myself a winner automatically (naturally right?) but congratulations to all the others she nominated as well. You are all collectively awesome!

Here’s a little quote from Victoria’s blog that I thought was really great:

Why not just be best at being you and stop being so worried about what the next person is doing, hmm? Life gets better when you stop caring so much about judgmental people.

I love the simplicity of truth and that’s exactly what this is, simple and true.

My favorite blog right now is A Fractured Faith. The very first time I read it I was blown away by the nakedness…I’m speaking about writing style of course LOL. I love anyone that is willing to bear it all on “paper” for the world to see because it ultimately leads to finding people who can relate to your story. The good, the bad and the ugly…and in this blog he is NOT afraid to show the ugly!

To my eternal shame I made a dash for the toilets upon our arrival at the airport, barely making it into a cubicle before my breakfast from earlier and I became reacquainted again in devastating fashion. Afterwards I curled up in the foetal position on the cubicle floor mulling over the errors of my excesses from the night before whilst simultaneously breaking out into a clammy, cold sweat.

The aftermath of drunkenness. I don’t know anything about it. I was always afraid of people drunk because I was told my father was an alcoholic. I know my father very well but somehow he hid that side of himself from me until I was an adult…or perhaps I hid it from myself in an effort to view him as the loving daddy I wanted him to be. Perfect in his own right. This is just one of many eye-opening stories told on A Fractured Faith.

Maybe you’ve been in a few embarrassing situations in your life; maybe a few you wish you could erase from the minds of all who knew, Stephen chose to bear his soul on his blog instead. We can’t get rid of the past, no matter how far behind us it is, however, instead of years of regret, we can share our experiences with others in hopes of setting them free from their own inner demons.

family

Now for the fun part, 10 random facts about me (brace yourselves for the unremarkable)

Eins: (yeah, I’m speaking German here): I lived in Germany for 3 years…my hubs is an Army guy

Zwie: I was a cheerleader in elementary and middle school…and today I couldn’t do a cartwheel if you paid me to

Drei: I didn’t find out the sex of my first child on purpose, but I named him Cristian in advance…that would have been the name if I’d had a girl

Vier: I watched my younger sister give birth before I ever had children and I almost puked…years later I had her record me giving birth to my second child…watched it and still almost puked

Funf: I wear glasses but no sunblock so my nose is a good 5 shades darker than the rest of my face

Sechs: After living such a laid-back, family-oriented lifestyle in Germany for 3 years, the fast-paced, consumer-oriented lifestyle of America doesn’t much suit me anymore

Sieben: I have a shirt from Italy as a souvenir…never went, just had a friend buy it for me

Acht: I met my husband at Technical school and we grew to be close friends…because I was doing his english homework (got him an A of course!)

Neun: While engaged, I told my husband I wanted 5 kids. After my second I decided 3 would be fine. After my third I am back to wanting 5. So yeah, I’m insane

Zehn: I only google translated 4 of these German numbers and that was for spelling errors! YAY me!

Here are my nominees for the Liebster Award:Water-Light-2

  1. My Hope Is In Thee
  2. Maggie Wig
  3. Balance to Bliss Fit
  4. Jenny Chang 
  5. Dew it Yourself
  6. His Child.com
  7. Pursuing Potential
  8. Coffee Ink Scripture
  9. MANA Wahine Fitness
  10. BeYounique

I was asked 11 questions but I’ll answer my favorite 2:

  1. Two of your favorite movie super heroes (male and female). Why?Wonderwoman is my favorite female superhero because she’s beautiful (duh) and she’s got this hidden power within her that she has no idea she can use and that feels like me most of the time. Male would have to be Lego Batman…do you even need a reason why? (He’s batman, he’s awesome, he’s got a 9 pack)
  2. How many jobs have you had in your life? Heaven only knows. I’ve lost count, but the best job so far is being a mom. Cliche’ yes but also true. It’s not a job per se’ but since I technically never “clock out” and the pay is terrible, let’s call it that

If you would like to accept my nomination, you can contact me and I will send you my 11 questions…and CONGRATS!

Check out this link for the official rules!

 

On Life & Love

A life without love is a life that is lost.

You could buy all my love and that without cost…but without it you’ve nothing at all

Put picture to frame and hang it on the wall

Take the ocean and call it your pool

Said the man without love, with no picture to recall

for a man without love is a fool…without it you’ve nothing at all

Enter the garden and water the flowers

Plant seeds in your heart with regress

Plan your own funeral here, count the hours

For without love, a loss is your best…without it you’ve nothing at all

Life on These Waters

Dear God,

I think I have arrived. My ship is at the shore and I’ve dropped anchor. I’m not even sure if this is where you wanted me to go, but I saw land and stopped anyway, because I was done; because to keep sailing felt like an impossible possibility. Why? Why force myself to keep going when I’ve felt lost the entire time? You blinded me, didn’t you? You wanted me to trust you, so you blinded me. Like Paul walking on the road, you took my sight and gave me no choice but to walk by faith.

The wind ripped my sails, all of my provisions were tossed overboard, my crew abandoned me and all I was left with is this boat and a feeling of uncertainty. Yet somehow, with this new freedom of mine, the doors opened to new possibilities. New courses revealed themselves and beckoned me to come, but I hesitated. I saw the way, and the destination was clear, but I followed not. The fear of failure gripped me like the strongest chains and I was unable to move. My greatest fear was upon me. Instead of seeking new opportunities to be better, to find a new crew, to regain my provisions and more, I fell short. I waved my rights to a better life in an effort to maintain continuity.

I gained weight, I became sluggish and lost sight of my way. I used to know where I was going, there was a goal in mind, but somehow it vanished along with my will to pursue anything good for me. The “what if’s,” attacked me so frequently I couldn’t think. The prospect of failure seemed far more than just my imagination. It was real to me. I could taste the failure, I could smell the stench of it, and what’s more, I could see the looks in the eyes of the people I cared for as they watched me with disgust.

and then there was land

…and then there was land. It was right there in front of me. I could row this boat on my own and get there in no time, so I did. I rowed ashore and dropped anchor, but I haven’t gotten off the boat. Instead I stand in awe as I gaze at the sea before me. Tumultuous winds, tossing waves…the life I knew was behind me, and if I wanted to know what was on this new land, I would have to get off of the boat; but here I stand.

Faithfulness Springs Forth

I read a scripture today in Psalms that kind of took my breath away. It seemed totally unreal to me. I’m not sure if this scripture was meant to be a prophecy, but, if the world today – and back then – is any indication, I’d say this verse was talking about a time FAR, FAR in the future.

blog verse 1

 

I think it goes without saying which part had me taken aback here. Adam was the very first man to meet God, and talk with him up close and personal, and even he was not able to be loyal to God. So how? How on earth did the writer of this verse come to this conclusion? Perhaps he was experiencing some euphoric moment and had a vision of some beautiful union between God and man. Perhaps God himself inspired him to write this verse as a message to all of us, that this is the way it is supposed to be…that this is the way it someday will be.

This is not to say that there aren’t any people on earth that are loyal to God, because there are, and those people could all attest to the fact that God’s goodness is shining down from heaven, but when I read this verse I didn’t read it as some people or some of God’s goodness. When I read this I immediately pictured ALL of the people on the earth and ALL of God’s goodness shining down. It’s an unimaginable thought almost, to think of something so amazing, but it’s possible and it’s coming, isn’t it? A day, a time…an eternity when we are loyal to God and his glory shines down on us all.

Take a look at the same verse in the NIV translation:

Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. 

…what a beautiful picture