Category Archives: prayer

Dear God,

Dear God,

I need your help with how I handle change. I know change is inevitable. I’m going to experience change no matter how much I dread it. My family will grow and change as my children get older and my marriage will evolve as we move further into life together as a whole. Things are going to change, and there is nothing I can do about it except allow myself to adapt.

My problem is that I desperately want to avoid change. My brain automatically recognizes change as a flaw in the system and sends out an alert to the rest of my body, throwing me into complete panic. *CAUTION! CHANGE APPROACHING* begins flashing in my head and I cannot, will not deal. Before I know it, my blood pressure has shot up, my heart is racing at the speed of light, and I’ve already lived through 17 different scenarios, in my mind where everything goes terribly wrong. Nervous breakdown. Failure to compute. Emergency exit to your left (I wish!).

 

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This is where you step in, Lord. Okay, okay you’re there the entire time, undoubtedly shaking your head, waiting patiently for me to get off of the floor and stop having a childish tantrum. God, if you were even slightly human, I’m sure you’d say something like, “Here she goes again,” and then roll your eyes. Thank heaven you aren’t that way.

After some time passes -could be one day, could be ten- but finally I awaken from my “drunken stupor” and remember how much you love me. I remind myself that, even though some changes really do suck, I have a heavenly Father helping me to work through it all. I’ll admit, as a wife and mother of 4 I sometimes feel alone when going through changes. I feel needed but not supported, until I remember God that you strengthen me when I’m weak, you provide for all of my needs and you are close to the brokenhearted.

 

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I know I know, I don’t really need to be brokenhearted during a change, but military life tends to have that effect on you. Still, whether it’s the military once again pulling me and my family away from every single thing we’ve grown to know and enjoy, or it’s me trying to force my way back into being a working mom, or even dealing with the fact that my sweet little boys are becoming a lot more self-sufficient, you have my back, and my front…and my everything. I am immensely thankful for an loving God who “does not change like shifting shadows.” That’s pretty awesome, because you know how much I hate change.

Pray Like Jesus Prayed

I woke up one morning to have prayer and I was drawn to read John 17. I thought to myself, “I wanna pray how Jesus prayed,” and that’s exactly what I did. In John 17 Jesus prays this amazing prayer about how he wants God to keep us from evil and sanctify (set apart) us in the truth, and how he wants us to be one as he and God are one. It’s touching when you think about it, because these things happened before he was betrayed and arrested. All the while, he knew what was about to happen, and there he was praying for us.

Here’s the thing, we all come into this world as sinners. That’s an ugly thought isn’t it? …but it’s true. We don’t enter the earth as Christ followers. That is a choice that we have to make on our own. Jesus didn’t die on the cross so that every person from then on would automatically have him. No he died so that every person would have the choice to accept him. Whether or not we do is up to us…and yet he prayed saying, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message,“. We relay the message and others can choose to accept Christ. That’s the beauty of the relationship we have with him, that it isn’t forced upon you. If, perhaps, you feel forced to give your life to Christ, looking into this prayer may change your perspective.

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I wrote a prayer of my own that morning. I wanted to pray for my family the way Jesus prayed for all believers, and so that’s just what I did. The following prayer is inspired by the prayer of Jesus in John 17:

Father, In Jesus’ name,

I know with certainty that Jesus came from you, and I believe that you sent him. Holy Father, protect us by the power of your name, the name you gave your son, so that we, the body of Christ, may be one as you and Christ are one.

I thank you that we can have the full measure of Christs joy within us, and I receive that joy. My prayer is not that you would take us out of the world, but that you would protect us from the evil one. I receive that protection.

Sanctify us by the truth; your word is truth. Jesus has sent us into the world and sanctified himself, that we too may be truly set apart. 

I receive the glory that Christ has given us, that we may be one with other believers as you and Christ are one. Christ in us and you in him.

May we be brought to complete unity to tell the world that you sent your son and you love them as you have loved him.

Father, I thank you for allowing us to be with Christ, where he is, and to see his glory.

We will make your son known to the world as Christ has and will continue to make him known in order that the love you have for us may be in them and that you yourself may be in them as you are in us.

~Amen

In the Midst of the Noise

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In the midst of the noise I hear the words I used to hear. There’s an obvious blockage to the gate I see here. A proverbial lock with a pad and a key. A special code is needed, and it’s hidden from me.

The people behind it all tremble with fear, at the thought that the chosen one might be near. That she might penetrate this invisible wall. That she might finally answer her God-given call.

A push and a pull is all it would take, I could wade in this water or empty this lake. Puddles full of pity, much more than should be. I could drown myself and that without mistake.

How is she wet and yet still she’s on fire? How do I manage to be empty and full of desire? It’s simply because I hold back from within…because I see the future but refuse to begin.

In the midst of the noise

 

In the midst of the noise I am screaming aloud. I’m oblivious to chaos; becoming one with the crowd. Don’t ask me to keep my calm or remain sane. I’m already an expert at all things mundane.

I never take chances. I throw my hand in the game. The risk-less card player with nothing to gain.

Every fantasy, every dream, every idea written on paper and nothing to show for it 7 years later. You could say I’m ambition without all the vigor. Dreams don’t come true all on their own, I figure.

Till inspiration strikes me as lightning on a pole, till I’m sick of re-living the days of old. Till I, at last, come to realize that the chosen one, she’s standing right here. Proud, amazing and successful…in the midst of the noise.

 

 

On Life & Love

A life without love is a life that is lost.

You could buy all my love and that without cost…but without it you’ve nothing at all

Put picture to frame and hang it on the wall

Take the ocean and call it your pool

Said the man without love, with no picture to recall

for a man without love is a fool…without it you’ve nothing at all

Enter the garden and water the flowers

Plant seeds in your heart with regress

Plan your own funeral here, count the hours

For without love, a loss is your best…without it you’ve nothing at all

Dear God

You ever say that out loud? Or maybe in your thoughts it sounds something like, “Dear God, help me!” That’s where I find myself lately. You know how people say, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” well I’m at the bridge waiting to cross as we speak.

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Normally my ‘Dear God’ letters are (for the most part) a calm reflection of the things I’m learning from him. He teaches me, leads me, guides and comforts me, and I write him a letter about it, thanking him. Today it’s a bit different. Today I need him to help keep me in check, because I have been a complaining, selfish fool. I am going through a PCS. For those of you not in the military family, this means I am moving. Okay, that’s putting it lightly, it means I am uprooting my entire life and starting completely over in a new place. Just did this twice in the past 3 years and here I am doing it all over again.

This is completely common among military families, to have to move frequently and lose everything that took so long to become familiar to you, but that doesn’t mean it gets easier with time. You get used to the idea of it, because it’s practically inevitable, but the process itself can be quite undesirable. I find myself adapting the “let’s just get this over-with” attitude toward our move this time around.

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Dear God help me. I need the will to stay sane in a day and time when I’ve found myself welcoming a negative mindset. Anxiety has worn on my emotions for far too long and I need to be free from it. You know me God, I hate the lack of control and abhor walking head first into the unknown, but it has to be done and I don’t want to be miserable while doing it. What’s more, I’ve got to make this process enjoyable for my children. I don’t want them to be anxious or fearful, and I most certainly don’t want my boys to suffer misery on account of my behavior!

My husband is working so hard to keep us comfortable and happy, and I don’t want him to think his efforts are in vain. He’s a good man and manages to stay happy even when I’m allowing myself to be grumpy. I’ve prayed and given my cares to you, and apparently I’ve taken them back all over again, so here they are. Take this PCS and all the puzzle pieces it involves and put it together for us God. Be strong where we are weak, and keep us in your joy when we don’t want to feel joyful. Help me to stop being selfish and reach out to help someone else where they have a need. I thank you for hearing my prayer and I thank you for answering.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

Dear God,

Today I am somehow forced to remember how terribly human we all are. I think of the relationship you had with Adam, before he fell. I think of how close the two of you must have been, and how impossible that relationship seems for us now. This chasm of sin and uncertainty is between us now, separating us from the wholeness of fellowship with you. But then I see verses in the Bible telling me that your spirit lives in me…IN me, and I think to myself, “How can that be?”

You are God's temple

1 Corinthians 3:16 NCV

I remember as a child learning about Jesus, they told us that all we had to do was confess our sins and ask Jesus to come into our hearts and he would. Right there, on the spot, I could have Jesus. I suppose ignorance is what stopped me from questioning this and I suppose now, human reasoning, leaning on my own understanding, is what causes me to question the impossibility of a deity taking abode within my mortal being.

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Still, even with all of that, I am thankful. If your word says it, then I’ve decided it’s true, and if it’s true then it’s real for me in my life and in my family’s life. We have the spirit of God living in us, as if we ourselves were the ark of the covenant, going about being held by your priestly hand so that we touch no unclean thing; being held to the highest regard so that we live a life pleasing to you, and yet not bound to the practice of animal sacrifice, because Jesus has already cleansed us from all of our sin.

Today, in spite of our inescapable humanity, I am immensely grateful for your presence living within me. May we never forget it. May we live with a constant awareness of it. May it be as simple as breathing, and as sacred as the bond between a heavenly Father and his child.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen