Category Archives: Goals

Combating Anxiety

Anxiety feels like a silent monster attacking your thoughts. Telling you lies…lies that, for some reason, you are quick to believe. Lots of us struggle with anxiety and feel hopeless to deal with it.

I dealt with anxiety for many years as a military spouse and mommy. Being without my spouse for up to a year with multiple children was enough to drive me a little cuckoo. All the responsibility that goes along with being a mother had me so stressed and anxious that most days it was a chore to keep it all together.

The first thing you should do, when in the midst of an anxious day, is to control your thinking with positive affirmations. You’re hearing lies like, “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” and, “ONCE AGAIN I MESSED EVERYTHING UP, ” and you need to combat those wrong thoughts by using right words. It helps to have something on hand either in an app on your phone or maybe in a notebook you keep in your purse. Have 3-5 positive affirmations that you can access easily to get rid of those ugly thoughts.

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I know this might seem like a good option for the first step, but could you really focus on your deep breaths while your mind is screaming defeat? I don’t think so. Get rid of those thoughts and then you’re able to sit quietly for 2-3 minutes and just take a few breaths… this should help your heart rate slow down which will help you reach a state of calm

Remember the good things. This can be done many ways. Perhaps you sit and remember your favorite family memories by looking at a photo album. Maybe you scroll through your phone and laugh at a few memes that your friends have sent you. Or maybe you just look around you, in whatever room you’re in, with a mind of gratefulness for everything you’ve been blessed with. Whatever it is, it’s good… remember it to take away from the thought that one problem is an “everything” issue.

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This step is optional because not everyone is comfortable with writing things in detail. For me it’s therapeutic to write out all of my negative thoughts and feelings. It releases it from my heart and I’m able to leave it there on the tablet or the paper. The actual situation may not be completely resolved, but having got it out is a huge stress reliever. I recommend trying it at least once.

Anxiety can be treated medically but it can also be treated right there in your own space with your own resources. You don’t have to let it beat you down every time it strikes. It sucks. I know, but you can win. I hope these tips help you.

I’m curious, what do you normally do when anxiety strikes? Have you tried anything to combat it? Has it helped? Let’s talk in the comments!

You Need to Grow

Never stop learning. That’s the goal for 2020. If you ever get to the point where you feel like you’ve “arrived” beware because you are in danger of becoming stagnant and foolish. Whether you are 16 or 65 there will always be more. There will always be something new or someone who knows something you do not. It may be as small as how to plant and grow your favorite flower or something as major as how to cultivate healthy relationships. You might think an older person would already know that type of thing, but that’s not always the case.

The fact is, growth is essential for life. It helps you flourish. We aren’t flowers. We aren’t trees. We are vines, constantly moving and multiplying. If we decide we’re done learning our leaves will turn brown. People will begin using that old adage, “can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” when you’re around. I’ve met people like that; people so stuck in their ways they couldn’t take advice or accept help from anyone. They have no idea just how foolish they truly are. They probably thought I was the fool!

Hello October

What about the company you keep? Do you spend time with people who live like they’ve got it all together? Are they willing to take life one step at a time, or are they bent on having it all their way, when and how they want it? That’s another sign of foolishness that’s difficult to detect; mostly because we beautify it with pretty cliche’s. We allow cute quotes on Instagram and Pinterest to convince us we’ve got to live for self. Screw what everyone else thinks. Empower yourself to be what you want and let the world watch while you blossom. Sure, it sounds great in theory, but who’s smart enough to maintain a healthy balance between that and being sensitive to the people around you?

We have to grow. We have to keep a constant awareness of our need to bloom in all the right ways. Your right way will probably be totally different from mine, and that’s fine as long as we understand the boundaries and respect them with love.

Are you growing? Are you moving backward? Or are you standing still?

More Than Just Mommy

There was a time when I wouldn’t allow myself to be more than a mother. I thought that if I took on anything else I would be doing a disservice to my children. After all, their father is in the army and we all know how much time he spends working…they didn’t need two parents that didn’t have time for them. The results of this lifestyle were borderline catastrophic. I fell into deep depression. I lost my friends one by one. And my relationship with my husband was under water. All because I took this one aspect of my life…and made it my everything.Untitled design

Today I find myself in the position of fighting for my time. I’ve learned to embrace that there are other things I can do, and I desperately want to do them, but I’ve got a handful of other things (and little people) at home that need tending to almost constantly. And with a recent upheaval of all I own (moving from Germany to Texas) this struggle has grown exponentially. Today I know what I want to pursue, I simply struggle with how.

Recently I’d heard a message from Terri Copeland Pearsons about how she knew how to prioritize her life even though she was a traveling speaker. God helped her divide her time so that she was able to be there for her children when they needed her, and she was able to fulfill her other duties without neglecting her family. This was eye-opening to me, because before hearing this I hadn’t deemed it possible to have that type of wisdom…to have balance.

Mom Quote

Have you ever had this overwhelming desire to be and do more than just be a mommy, but failed to execute because your little one’s still needed you? And you still wanted to be needed by them? I’d always had this fear of being insignificant. In reality, allowing children to learn independence in certain areas of life is commendable, but many moms -like me- refuse to allow that process to run its course. We want to spoon-feed life to our children bit by bit.

To be more than just mommy we have to let go. Let go of fears of being insignificant to our children; mostly because they haven’t got very many expectations for us in the first place. We have to look away from other mothers who appear to have everything perfect and under control. We have to stop comparing ourselves to them; its unhealthy and fruitless. Lastly, we have to get up and take action. We’ve got to actually do something! Everything seems impossible until it’s done.

 

Embracing Insanity

I’ve been on my fitness journey for about 6 years now. I started out trying an app on my phone. It gave me pictures of different workouts I could do to bust my post-pregnancy belly. Needless to say, after 30 days of using this app, I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be! In fact, I hadn’t lost a single pound!

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8 months pregnant…over 200lbs! (from 146!)

My husband had told me about Insanity and I watched a few minutes of it with him…NO. There was no discussion or excuses behind it, just no. Have you seen Insanity?? It’s called that for a reason…it’s freaking insane! Am I really gonna go from couch potato, to  workout-app user to doing Insanity? Well, yes. That’s exactly what I did. After having tried that ridiculous app- that gave me zero guidance on how long or how many reps to do or how to get a handle on my nutrition- I got out of my head and tried Insanity.

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Post-workout stretch

I never felt better in my life. I felt powerful. Like someone had passed me the torch and I was running at full speed. It was awesome! Tiring, grueling, painstaking, but awesome. My stomach was half the size in 30 days. I wish I had pictures of that, but I’ve had a lot of cell phones since then and no google drive to put my pics on.

Anywho that was the beginning of a new life for me, so after I had my third baby boy I knew automatically who I was gonna go to, to get that belly down. Forget downloading some “easy way out” app that wasn’t gonna give me actual results. I went to Insanity Max:30! Just as grueling and difficult, but in half the time…cake.

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My reaction to completing a round of Insanity Max:30 LOL

By the time my 60 days were up I had lost almost all the weight I wanted to lose but the tummy was very persistent. I realized I was missing a very important piece of the puzzle and that was nutrition. So I got the 21 Day Fix containers and went to work on my eating habits. Do you know how hard it is to break a steak addiction? LOL When I was pregnant I craved steak like nobody’s business, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t eat one at least once a week.

Today my fitness journey continues not because I have to, but because I want to. I love the rush, the burn, the sweat, the WORK. It makes me feel like I’m doing something amazing and well worth my time for 30-40 minutes a day. It’s also been a great stress buster for me. Oh and for those of you looking for a “flat-belly photo” please bear with me. I’ve had 3 kids and you can lose fat but not stretch marks. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to share that journey with you as well.

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Flexing my “almost” muscle!

But enough about lil ol me, how long have you been on your fitness journey and what amazing person or program got you started? What was your motivation? Tell me, I really wanna know!

Dear Me,

Dear Me,

Where did the time go? One minute you’re making plans to start businesses, take trips, save money and be something big in life, and the next you’re at home with the kids. How did it stop with that? You’re married and it didn’t stop there for him so, what did it for you? Where’s the defining factor that kidnapped you from every hope, every dream, every aspiration?

Remember what it was like to believe? Remember when you actually had hope that you could make something of yourself? Actually make your dreams a reality? Remember preparing and researching? Sharing with others the big plans you had to get that dream over into reality? How come we don’t remember losing it? Did it leave like a thief in the night or was it a gradual process?

20151123_113849Where are we now? Are we, me, I ready to settle? To give into the notion that this, here, in all our, my, this misery, discontent and anger is it for us? Is this where we close the door? Or will we draw a line, step over it, and refuse to look back?

Time is still moving, that means there is STILL TIME. More time to turn around. There’s more time to be, to do, to live…I mean really LIVE!  I know circumstances are still the same. Kids are still a handful and a huge responsibility. Husband still the same man, money the same. Reality is still present. You need to find a door. Find a door, a window, a hole, a crack in the wall and run through it! Grab a hold of it with both hands and never let go.

The minute you take it, you will face reality and it will say you can’t do it. But time is still moving, there is still more time. Once you’ve taken it, continue. CONTINUE, CONTINUE, CONTINUE! Something will get in your way but continue. Things won’t go as planned but continue. You’ll be tired of trying, people will let you down, God will feel distant but CONTINUE, and when you do…

One day you’ll look back at this letter to you and all those “remember whens” will be a memory. The past. You’ll be sharing this message with other women who know your struggle, encouraging them to continue.

Dear Me,

Remember. Please always, forever, remember

Love,

Me, I, You, Us

Taking Chances

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Every so often I catch myself in deep thought, daydreaming about all the goals I once had. The hefty number of dreams I was determined to see come true had dwindled down to a hefty few. In my mind I was stuck in the land of “you can be anything you want to be”. I remember hearing that growing up. When I graduated high school I went to school to learn all about what I wanted to be…and I hated it. The majority of my adult life has been spent wondering and wandering, trying to figure out what it really is that I want to be.

I can tell you what I’ve become. I’ve become a wife and a mother. Not paying professions, no bachelor’s degree required and you get on the job experience. I was completely unqualified for both and yet I never lost the job! I may have lost my mind a few times, but I’ll be a wife and mother the rest of my life. I do desire more though. A broader scope of influence that allows me to utilize my gifts on a daily basis. I want to do something I love so much that I’d do it for free. The same way I love my husband and my children….okay I doubt I’d love a career THAT much but you get the idea.
If you were to ask me what my new years resolution was I’d tell you I have none. I’ve simply decided within myself never to allow myself to sit on the background wondering and wandering ever again. Even if a fail a thousand times, it’s proof that I have tried. A thousand failures is better never trying at all. I resolve to live with no regrets. I can’t change where I used to be but I can control where I’m going. And where am I going?? Forward.

Confession of Unbelief

A fools heart. Foolishly I keep hoping, waiting with expectation for some miraculous, once-in-a-lifetime event to turn up and change my life forever. Forever. Instead I’m bogged down with a billion and one teeny-tiny little instances that affect my everyday life. A hint of this, a twist of that, a sprinkle of this and by 5pm my day’s gone kaput.

Dreams. I used to dream ALL the time about this glamorous life I could have. Now I spend my time hoping nothing ridiculous will happen tomorrow. I’ve lost my dreams. I don’t know what I’m hoping for. I don’t care about what I want because it feels foolish to desire what life will never offer. No amount of effort on my part will produce this life I’m hoping to get to.

Weary of waiting.
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