There was a time when I wouldn’t allow myself to be more than a mother. I thought that if I took on anything else I would be doing a disservice to my children. After all, their father is in the army and we all know how much time he spends working…they didn’t need two parents that didn’t have time for them. The results of this lifestyle were borderline catastrophic. I fell into deep depression. I lost my friends one by one. And my relationship with my husband was under water. All because I took this one aspect of my life…and made it my everything.
Today I find myself in the position of fighting for my time. I’ve learned to embrace that there are other things I can do, and I desperately want to do them, but I’ve got a handful of other things (and little people) at home that need tending to almost constantly. And with a recent upheaval of all I own (moving from Germany to Texas) this struggle has grown exponentially. Today I know what I want to pursue, I simply struggle with how.
Recently I’d heard a message from Terri Copeland Pearsons about how she knew how to prioritize her life even though she was a traveling speaker. God helped her divide her time so that she was able to be there for her children when they needed her, and she was able to fulfill her other duties without neglecting her family. This was eye-opening to me, because before hearing this I hadn’t deemed it possible to have that type of wisdom…to have balance.
Have you ever had this overwhelming desire to be and do more than just be a mommy, but failed to execute because your little one’s still needed you? And you still wanted to be needed by them? I’d always had this fear of being insignificant. In reality, allowing children to learn independence in certain areas of life is commendable, but many moms -like me- refuse to allow that process to run its course. We want to spoon-feed life to our children bit by bit.
To be more than just mommy we have to let go. Let go of fears of being insignificant to our children; mostly because they haven’t got very many expectations for us in the first place. We have to look away from other mothers who appear to have everything perfect and under control. We have to stop comparing ourselves to them; its unhealthy and fruitless. Lastly, we have to get up and take action. We’ve got to actually do something! Everything seems impossible until it’s done.
I had to try something…anything really, to wake up the sleeping giant within.
I decided not to complicated my mind. I decided to wake up and live.