It’s Not About Feelings

When it comes to loving someone, truly loving them, you have to ignore your feelings. Love is supposed to be unconditional. That word, unconditional, it’s self-explanatory isn’t it? No conditions. There is no, “I love you if,” or, ” I love you when,” it is simply, “I love you.”

Me and my love at a local wine festival

My husband doesn’t always make me happy. He doesn’t always do the right thing and I don’t think he wakes up each morning wondering about new ways to please his wife. This does not stop me from loving him. When he is angry with me, I love him. When he is happy with me, I love him, and he loves me just the same. If you are waiting to truly love your spouse based on some expectation that you’ve created in your mind, then you have not learned the real meaning of love.


family vacation in Garmisch, Germany

As a military spouse, there are times when I don’t feel particularly loved by my husband. His mind is constantly bogged down with the numerous responsibilities of work. I’ve experienced our relationship outside of the military, and even then he worked hard, but the military takes it to an entirely new level. There is no comparison to the two. If I were to decide one day that, because he works so often and (sometimes) has little time for me and my boys, that he does not love me, I would be a fool. It is foolish for me to set a standard that he must meet in order for me to be loving toward him. It is foolish to set a standard for him to meet in order to prove that he loves me. He does, and even though he hasn’t got a ton of time to show it, I’m confident in his love for me. It is not conditional and it is not based on how I feel.

Feelings will come and go but love is supposed to last forever. For most people it doesn’t They transfer love from one mate to another. But love, real love, is supposed to last forever, regardless of how you feel.

…because that is exactly how God loves you.


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