You ever say that out loud? Or maybe in your thoughts it sounds something like, “Dear God, help me!” That’s where I find myself lately. You know how people say, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” well I’m at the bridge waiting to cross as we speak.
Normally my ‘Dear God’ letters are (for the most part) a calm reflection of the things I’m learning from him. He teaches me, leads me, guides and comforts me, and I write him a letter about it, thanking him. Today it’s a bit different. Today I need him to help keep me in check, because I have been a complaining, selfish fool. I am going through a PCS. For those of you not in the military family, this means I am moving. Okay, that’s putting it lightly, it means I am uprooting my entire life and starting completely over in a new place. Just did this twice in the past 3 years and here I am doing it all over again.
This is completely common among military families, to have to move frequently and lose everything that took so long to become familiar to you, but that doesn’t mean it gets easier with time. You get used to the idea of it, because it’s practically inevitable, but the process itself can be quite undesirable. I find myself adapting the “let’s just get this over-with” attitude toward our move this time around.
Dear God help me. I need the will to stay sane in a day and time when I’ve found myself welcoming a negative mindset. Anxiety has worn on my emotions for far too long and I need to be free from it. You know me God, I hate the lack of control and abhor walking head first into the unknown, but it has to be done and I don’t want to be miserable while doing it. What’s more, I’ve got to make this process enjoyable for my children. I don’t want them to be anxious or fearful, and I most certainly don’t want my boys to suffer misery on account of my behavior!
My husband is working so hard to keep us comfortable and happy, and I don’t want him to think his efforts are in vain. He’s a good man and manages to stay happy even when I’m allowing myself to be grumpy. I’ve prayed and given my cares to you, and apparently I’ve taken them back all over again, so here they are. Take this PCS and all the puzzle pieces it involves and put it together for us God. Be strong where we are weak, and keep us in your joy when we don’t want to feel joyful. Help me to stop being selfish and reach out to help someone else where they have a need. I thank you for hearing my prayer and I thank you for answering.
In Jesus’ name I pray,